This Matters to Me

Each day is becoming a drag. That I need to think and motivate myself that I need to do this. If I don’t nothing would happen. Most days are spent looking at how minutes had gone by, sometimes wondering why it haven’t moved a bit. Sometimes wishing that time would fly swiftly. And very often the thought that this is not what I wanted surfaces. Situations had put me down. I had constrained myself. It led me here. I was led into feeling this way. I never wanted to feel bitter about the way things had been. But I know it had been unfair. I wanted to wash away the negative feelings that comes along with it. Leading me nowhere. Now I still have to face and accept what is about to take place. It would be hard as I know I should be deserving that and it was taken away from me. Still, I continue to breathe… being strong that I would keep up and finish this fight. I might have chosen the wrong path. But then I knew time would come that I could be on a smoother road. It might seem to far, but what is important is that I would get there somehow. Hopefully I will.

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In Deep

Others had reached their dreams.
Somehow made a name for themselves. I think, I haven’t.
Yet some people thought I already had.
They don’t know what is.
In reality, mine’s washed away.
Drifted. Maybe lost somewhere.
Until now, just swinging with the flow, going where the wind would blow.
Searching. Continuously looking. Blurred.
I could not move.
What would be?
I don’t know where. I don’t know how.

Dreams

Dreams of you. No reasons why it have to be. Seeing you only in those dreams. There isn’t any answers that needs to be resolved. There are no words that needs to be said. Left it all when everything had ended. You appeared, just like the way it had been. The same voice, the same face, the same ways. With the way I am now and with the way you are now. Chance encounters that makes me remember what I had left. Thoughts and memories once more. Reminding me of life and of the future. Dreams… can you just go…. please don’t appear once more. 

Where Had I Been?

At work. At home.
Busy. Adjustments. Time management. Stressed-out.
I have a few minutes to spare now.
Going back 2 weeks ago, blogging what had been
I could not let it pass
A few words would be enough for now.
Experiences. Feelings.
Wishing I had more time at my hands.
Searching for freedom.
Praying.

Crashing into Friendster

Friend request from him? Haha. Funny… Shocked… Amazed… Bewildered… or whatever word could I call it?! Again, from him? Did he even searched for me? Anyway, it doesn’t matter. My college crush. The last guy whom I had a crush on. That was like, years ago. I could barely remember the feeling. Yet I’m sure, it was the time of my life when I would feel “kilig” upon the seeing him, catching glimpses, smiles, wishing and hoping to be with him, dreaming of him… and a lot more! Ohh.. that feeling! Remembrances of the years that had gone by. That feeling of having a crush on someone is really exciting. And I’m done with that point of my life already. Still, it’s one of the best feelings there is. Of course, I accepted the friend request with a smile on my face. Same with me, he’s already married. How good life had been… whew