I am 29!

One more year left before I reach 30. I am growing old, though not really looking like one, people would always say. I am thankful that life brings me enough love and blessings. I am grateful for my family who has always been there at my side, for my kids and my husband. I appreciate relatives, friends and everyone else who never failed to greet me each year. There was more to life to be thankful for!

For my birthday celebration, our family had dinner at Texas BBQ and Restaurant at the A.Venue Mall, Makati Avenue. Food was great especially when you’re sharing it with the people you love. Their big food servings are enough to fill us up.  Though a bit pricey for me, but proved to be worthy.

I am looking forward to more years, more happiness and more blessings… for a life free from worries and anxieties… for more strength and better future. Life is indeed beautiful and I am living it well!

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Don’t Get Me Wrong

release me when this feeling comes
shut down my thoughts when it starts to pour
warm my hands when suddenly it becomes cold
let me remember that there wasn’t a spark.
don’t take the risk when I know what the result would be
stop everything that would cause ruin
learn to be without emotions
and i will keep in mind that it just fleeting…
yes, it is
this is just for the day
tomorrow a new feeling would arise
I know it will
and I will fight it back if it doesnt…

Whewww! Sometimes I guess to leave it sounding like nothing could interpret what I really wanted to say. Sometimes its better to just keep everything to myself… when I know that I really wanted to say it out. This is me. Still hiding between the lines, covering myself with words flowing yet being lost in its truest sense. But it should not be, and I know how to take caution. Maybe this is just because of the sappy things that I have read… maybe just because of the bug (or whatever it might be)…. my own version of romantic paranoia. Things are ok, though my thoughts are filled with all these.

Whirlwind of Emotions

Emotionally felt that I am in the state of havoc. Mixed thoughts and feelings continuously surrounds me this past few days. Seems like it is neverendless.

For the price that our winning photo won brings me happiness and excitement.
For the stress of looking for a good preschool for my kids, coupled with the limited financial means.
For the feeling of somehow hating people who selflessly doesn’t care about what others are feeling.
For the tiredness, lack of sleep and worries.
For the challenges at work, the pressures and the personalities I have to live with.
For taking a sneak peak at the dream I wished had been a part of mine.
For recognizing the happiness that lies beyond those very eyes and those smiles.

I succumb. I discern.
These are all part of what life is. The challenge to live and be happy. To think, to be strong and appreciate life even more. 
  

Diaper Cake!

I was thinking of a gift that we would buy for Clay, and the idea of making a diaper cake came to my mind. Hmmm, it sounds cool! I surfed the net for some samples of diaper cakes and I was amazed at how great those cakes looked! A lot of them really looked like real cakes. There are single layers, 2-tiers and 3-tiers. And there is also such thing as a towel-cake, where instead of using diapers, the cake makes use of a towel. So there, I am certainly sure that I would be baking my first diaper cake! hehehe…

I bought L size diapers, a Mickey Mouse bottle, 3 sandos, a Mickey Mouse teether, bib and small towel. I also bought a circle puzzle for the cake base, ribbons, paper wrapper and cellophane. And  here’s my first baked diaper cake —

My cake might not be perfectly made, but it is made with love… and I enjoyed doing it! My hubby also does!  

Challenges and Being Nice

There are times when l just want to shout back at people and scream my hearts out! But, that’s not me and I am not used to being so vocal about what I think and what I really feel.

Silent shouts, feelings for my blog to hear & to listen to: 
” … and I have no idea… what’s with the S*** word?! ”
” … you’ve been doing it for years, why change the way when the change would just affect the way i do things?!…   was it always have to make things my fault?!”
“… so there, I felt so stupid. That’s the way how I make it… and now I am wrong?!”

Sometimes, incidences and people would make me feel so dismayed. I don’t know if they are just putting me into a test or challenging my capabilities! But I hate  it when people starts to blame me for things that I have no idea about… when they say to the whole world what my fault is! It’s very disappointing how some people could be so cruel and be so insensitive! Though I admit I am really challenged and I am not that strong… but I will keep on fighting!

Or maybe I am just being so nice… again?!  

I am 28!

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December 2. My birthday celebration together with my family. Thank you mom for shouldering the expenses! Hehe… it was my mom’s treat actually. I am so thankful for this life… let these pictures speak how happy and grateful I am for having a great family!

Amazing Gold

Just having some fun.
I’m using a Motorola phone also. This quiz reflects what my KRZR style is.

Being a Mom

I am a mother. In the future, I anticipate that there would be times that my children would not understand me, more so, hate me somehow for the ways they would found differently.

It is hurtful to know that my younger sister hates mama so much, to the point that she and her husband loses their respect. Mom doesn’t know about those words they are saying behind her. It was only my other sister, my older brother and me who knows all about it. My older brother even confronted my brother-in-law because of that incident.

I want to make my sister unerstand mom’s situation now. I know mom would give them the money, but not at the moment. There are a lot of things that she’s taking care of right now. I want my sister to be thankful for all those years that mom had sacrificed for us, just ot give us a better life. We had a good life compared to others. I want my sister to appreciate those blessings. She only keeps in mind all those negative words mom had uttered, yet she failed to realize all good things that mom had done for her. 

I admit, there are also some things I don’t like about my mom. There are times that I could not understand her and the way she deal with situations. Yes, we are different. She wants to  act at the spur of the moment- where everything is a rush, whereas I want everything well planned. I don’t want the way she wanted to carry everything behind her back, failing to realize that she’s not superwoman. But then, she’s not perfect and like everyone else she’s just human. I am thankful I have her in my life. There are more things I appreciate about her. She just wants to give the best for everyone.

Behind Being ME

[Blueberyz]
Blueberyz is a chat addict. This becomes my nick way back MIRC days. I was in college that time.  Those days when I get to know and meet differently kinds of people. When I stayed online until wee hours in the morning just to chat with those online friends. I was blueberyz. When I take the chance to meet them personally, aka -eyeball. And I would chat then the next day and would read the lines, “blueberyz is cute!” And sometimes, people from the same college I went to would say, “you’re blueberyz, right?”… Oh well.  

[Sunkhizz]
The nick I’ve used when I got tired of being blueberyz. Hiding behind this identity. I love this name! For me it’s like being kissed in a hot and passionately way, yet being feminine at the same time.

[Ameur]
Only a few wants to call me Ameur. No wonder I wouldn’t want to be called one. I remember my high school teacher. I remember two college professors. One who eyes me somehow and one who always articulates my ex-boyfirends surname, which is Ame. I even remember her saying, “I asked Ame if he will marry Ameur. And he said “I do!”. Ohhhh… those were the days. 

[Czarm]
Yes, this is me! Somehow a sophisticated one. Close high school and college friends call me by this name. I miss those days. I miss the company of seeing my friends everyday as much as I miss being Czarm. Czarm had a full-life, nothing is ever wasted. All emotions had been felt. All chances on life and love had been taken.  A thousand experiences and lessons learned throughout those years.

[Arom]
I grew up as Arom, a chubby-shy girl. I am still Arom, but now I am a woman. Still with that somehow shy-nice image. To my family and relatives I would always be Arom. It’s the safest place I know, where I would always feel loved. Always remembering that no matter how strong the wind is or how high the waves are, there are people who are willing to lend me a hand and support me. Those are the people who knew me as Arom.

[Cza]
This is me now. In the professional world I am Cza. Started being Cza when I could not use Czarm in the first company I was employed in. I didn’t want to leave Czarm behind, but I could not. Now, I stick to this. My husband knew me through being Cza.

Changes and more changes.
These are some parts of being Me. Fragments of who the person behind my life people knew about. No matter who I am to them, I am happy. I am contented knowing who the real person is inside.

So It’s My Birthday

[Dec. 2] It’s my Birthday! And i’m already 27!
Had take out lunch from Waiying, a Chinese fastfood in Binondo and Choco Mousse ice cream for dinner. Drop by Glorietta in the aftenoon. Hubby bought me a rubber shoes. I was thinking like, “masusuot ko ba yan?” He said “oo naman!” Kase naman, I haven’t worn a rubber shoes for ages. Of course, I also bought myself a new pair of bronze sandals at Rusty Lopez. Mom gave me money as a birthday gift. Thank you so much. Oh di ba, I am still a child. A grown-up-married-child.

Thankful…
+ I have patience. To control my temper and understand my kids
+ I have too much love. To give and to share